Oh sweet Mama- I see you. I don't know your face, but I see hear your heart beat. I hear your heart break.
Once, not too long ago, you changed diapers and nursed in the quiet of night and watched you baby sleep and felt love swell up inside you like never ending waves. You waited for fevers to break and crafted Halloween costumes and broke up sibling rivalries. You listened as your baby told you about his first love, sent money when he was behind on the rent, cheered him on when he got that new job. You are a mama just like me.
You went to sleep on Saturday night and you woke up on Sunday to news that forever changed your world. News that made you stop breathing. News that made the world spin. You were thrust hard into the tangled, sticky mess of grief. It's only Friday and everywhere you look, the world is talking about your baby and you can't make sense of anything. I'm sure the fog is thick.
Mama, we are interconnected, you and I. The same blood flows through all our veins and we share the same pain and the same joy. Your son is my son. Your daughter is my daughter. When there is a moment like this week, when the country trembles from the aftershock of human loss at the hands of hate, we mothers tremble together. We think of you and we hold our babies a little tighter and even though we are worn weary from a world where these events are too frequent, we hold the night watch a little longer. Our job is to protect our babies and when someone comes looking for them, comes seeking to destroy them, we are all wounded deeply. That gunman took something away from all of us when he took your baby's life, Mama.
Surely there is hope and healing in this, that's God's promise to us. But today, this week, I'm holding space for you and joining you in mourning. I'm spending time in the quiet of the night, while I hold my baby close, praying for you. Not just hashtag thoughts and prayers, but real petitions to a God who weeps with us and who offers healing. I am praying for the tears you have been weeping and hope you know that our Father sees and hears each and every cry of your broken heart.
We are weeping with you, Mama.