Wednesday, July 6, 2011

a cable fable.

Once upon a time, there was a girl that grew up with no cable TV. She begged and begged her parents to get cable so she could watch Nickelodeon like all the other kids, but they were cheap and they believed in the power of public television. (They had a lot to learn about life.)

Then the girl met a boy who grew up with cable and he told her about all the amazing things you could watch besides Nickelodeon, like the the Travel Channel and The Food Network and even E!. And he even opened her eyes to the magic of DVR! The girl had no idea the world of cable could be so amazing. So she married the boy right then and there.

And the girl had cable. And she was happy.

Then they moved to Florida and the girl was unemployed, and she filled her time with cable. She had over 200 channels and nothing but time, which meant Paula Deen marathons, Greys Anatomy reruns, and more Kardashians than she could keep up with. She thought she was as happy as a clam, curled up on her couch, remote in hand, nothing but her and her stories. Then one day, the laundry piled high and the dishes beginning to grow fur, the girl sat flipping between Jersey Shore and an America's Next Top Model from like 5 years ago, and it suddenly occurred to her. 'I might have a TV problem', she thought to herself. But then JWoww and Snooki were back and she forgot about what she was thinking.

Then one day, the boy and the girl packed up and moved to Virginia. And once they were in their new house, a discussion happened. It went a little like this:

Boy: I looked at the cable prices and they're really expensive. And we would have to pay even more for DVR. What would you think about not getting cable?

Girl, sweating a little: Uh, I guess that would be okay. I mean, there's still good stuff on network television, right?

Boy: Well, actually, network is still kind of pricey and really all you get is PBS. Maybe we could just watch TV on the Internet and not have a real TV at all?

Girl, heard the words PBS, made a frowny face, and somehow jumped on board for this crazy plan: Okay...

Then the girl had no cable. Or network, even. And she was a little sad. Okay... A lot sad. And a lot bored.

But the moral of this story is this; the girl and the boy are slowly and surely finding other things to do with their time besides watching TV. They are eating meals at the table instead of on the couch. They are reading more. They are talking more. They're even listening to NPR! (No, the irony of not wanting to watch public television but wanting to listen to public radio has not been lost on the boy and the girl.) They are quite happy.

And upon proofreading this post, the boy informed the girl that the money they are saving by not having cable is going to buy them a flat screen in a few months.

And the girl was a little bit happy.


  1. Who are you? What have you done with Cari?

  2. Valerie Jagow7/7/11, 10:59 AM

    I have to say I find this funny..and thats great you guys are going with better cheaper choice. It didnt workout to well for us after two months I needed my shows back LOL.

  3. Aunty Fran7/8/11, 3:10 AM

    Then the girl came home from work and looked at her paycheck and thought "One day I will get Netflicks and Hulu" and the boy thought "yes and we will connect our laptops to the new flat screen TV". All was right in their world again!

  4. I have cable for the first time in a year and a half and while there is more productivity in life without it I can safely say Netflix, NPR, and hulu do not make up for the magnificent thing that it is. With that you and your blog.